Well, we almost made it.

I've got some really amazing friends and have had a lot of support over the past few days via Facebook, one of the social media connections of these days. Since we had been having such a successful day at home with potty training (and even a successful grocery store trip!), I wanted to let these awesome friends know. So I did the one thing I shouldn't have...I posted this as my status:

"I think we've mastered 'pottying at home,' folks."

Anyone with a sense of humor knows exactly what happened next. Yeah.

So, with a newfound humble spirit, and a renewed realization that on this Earth, our goal is not perfection, but oneness with the One Who is perfect (thanks, R) - we started over. 

The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. -John 17:22-23

Evidence of Success

Because I will not remember anything about these days when E is grown and potty training her own stubborn little girl ;), I thought I might need to post some proof that today was, actually, a very good day for E. But since this is a public forum, and not simply a place for private musings, I thought I should preface this post with a very important statement.

Yes - this is as creative as it gets in my household.


I can crochet according to a pattern, I can color between the lines - I can build just about anything as long as I have directions.....but nothing in my brain tells me how to create something 'cutesy' out of nothing. So to all my kindergarten teacher friends and other friends who are able to make something beautiful out of nothing, don't hate on my attempt at bringing my two-year-old some joy, k? :)

Day 1 - Pretty good success, LOTS of prompting and prodding
Day 2 - The dip in performance is evident, I believe
Day 3 - Beginning to show signs of independence!!

This is not how it was meant to be.

Today I came face to face with 'mini-me.' A 3-ft version of myself, stubborn and unyielding to any pressure to do what I asked. To say this complicated Day 2 of potty training is an understatement. All in all, our statistics for today are better than yesterday, but my cup at the end of this day is bone dry and my patience is paper thin. I truly believe my child has had more sugar in these past two days than in her whole life up to this point.

I struggle with the notion sometimes that "this is not how it was meant to be." That - in an ideal world - it wouldn't matter all that much if she potty-trained quickly, because we would be able to work on this gradually, over the course of time, allowing her to move at her own pace and learn in her own time. Part of me does feel that cramming a developmental milestone into a matter of five days is an offense to the Maker - that it's probably not the way He designed it to happen and therefore the parties involved in such a crime feel more stress, more burden, and less joy from the experience as a matter of consequence. However, here we are. The choices that I've made in life (in obedience and disobedience to God's will for me) have led me to this moment and to these five days of insanity. I truly believe that He has called me to my current occupation as a social worker. And as such, I do not have the ability to offer E the luxury of a slow and gradual achievement of this developmental milestone - I will have to return to my regular hours on Monday, hoping that she is able to fly from the nest with a newfound confidence in herself. I am definitely praying for peace and patience and an abundance of grace and love for her, so that she and I can navigate these few days with as little stress and as much joy as God will provide. I trust that just as God blesses and gives grace to other situations in which man has thwarted God's original design, He is more than capable of proving His power and might in our 'little bitty world.'

She's a big kid now.

Today we started potty training in the "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus" way. The way in which there is no turning back. The way in which we repeat the same four lines over and over and over and over and over and over again. You might have to have been raised Southern Baptist (it's a hymn I sang once a month growing up)...but it's a pretty good description of what our day has been like here in the Bost house.

I have never in my life been so excited about putting a 75-cent pull-up on my child (only to be thrown away a few mere hours later) as I was this afternoon at 2pm. She had done much better than I'd ever expected, but potty training is a T-E-D-I-O-U-S task, and my strengths definitely do not lie in disciplined activities over a long period of time.

So here was my plan:
- 'Clean and Dry' checks to her bottom/play area every 15 mins to see if she was holding it; one chocolate chip rewarded for being 'clean and dry'
- Bubbles ONLY when E sat at the potty and attempted (one time she sat there for 45 mins just blowing bubbles and catching them with me....actually some really precious time with my sweet girl)
- An additional piece of candy for successfully tee-teeing in the potty (3 pieces for pooping)
- Sticker chart for successful pottying
- Naked from the waist down (E)
- No "forcing" her to sit on the potty - just letting natural consequences take effect when she had an accident (cleaning up after herself, cleaning the floor, etc.) and making potty time really fun so she would want to stay and try for a long enough time


Here's how it worked today:
3 - accidents (in the morning - she stayed dry all afternoon!)
1 - 'watch me, mom' episode that thankfully I was able to end abruptly and scoot her off to finish in the potty
1 - completely and totally independent, successful tee-tee in the potty
9 - stickers for making it to the potty in time!! (she got 3 at once for pooping)
1 - 'clean and dry' check for mom (E walked up behind me, swiped my bottom, and asked "Mom, are you clean and dry?" Once she confirmed that I was, she offered me a piece of 'play' chocolate from her kitchenette :)
4,000 - 'clean and dry' checks for E (1 check every 15 mins for the whole day - I'm too tired to do the math, but 4000 feels about right)
3,500 - chocolate chips awarded to E for being 'clean and dry'
9 - pieces of candy for making it to the potty (yes....in ADDITION to the chocolate chips.....)
1 - bowl of ice cream for her first success (Thanks, G!!)
4 - cups of coffee for me so that I could keep up with the 2-yr-old on the sugar high

All in all, actually a really successful "first" day of potty training. The best memory I think will be the continuous chocolate mustache she wore, evidence of her success at not having an accident. Day 1 down...4 more to go!

Like Father, Like Son

Jehovah-jireh

Jehovah-jireh: The Lord Who provides; the Lord Who sees; the Lord Who will see to it that my every need is met; the One Who knows my need because He sees; the One Who is able to meet my need in just the right time as He did for Abraham; the One Who can meet it fully.


A few weeks back, our little family was over at our friends' house having dinner and spending some quality time together. E absolutely adores their kids, and follows them around like a little puppy...laughing at their silliness, playing with their toys, trying to do everything they do. They encourage us and offer wisdom to us as parents, and are living life fully to the glory of the Savior, so we gravitate toward spending our free evenings with them when we can. 


After finishing up dinner, C and I decided to make an ice cream run - one of our little "summertime" things. On the way out the door, I reminded E to finish her dinner so that she might be able to have some ice cream when we got back, and she trotted off to the kitchen.


Well, apparently at some point during our outing, E slipped out the back door of the house, wandered into the street where she was spotted and chased down by one of the neighbors, who - once he caught up to her - knocked on the front door and returned her safely to her daddy's arms. Though the whole episode could not have lasted more than five minutes, my heart aches to imagine the potential for danger in those brief moments.


Of course, all had been settled by the time C and I returned, but even the fact that I was absent for the entire situation brought an added measure of fear for having absolutely no control whatsoever of what had just happened. To say that L and I were shaken doesn't even begin to describe our emotions. We rode a pretty serious roller coaster for the next 24 hours, both trying to search out God's purpose for not only exposing E to such danger but also protecting her so miraculously - all within an extremely short amount of time. 


Though I believe I still have lessons to learn from this, here are a few things God has revealed to me so far: When I focus on my inadequacies as a parent that may have surely led to this event, I feel nothing but shame and helplessness. But when I focus on the amazing protection and providence of an Almighty Jehovah-jireh, I cannot deny His faithfulness, His enduring love, His amazing grace. I cannot help but praise a God who would see fit to meet me in my weakness and prove His strength. I cannot help but to humbly say Thank You for an act of mercy that was totally undeserved. And I cannot help but be reminded that above all of my plans, He is the One Who is in control. Focusing on myself leads to death and emotional devastation, but focusing on Him leads to life and hope in the One Who promises to "see to it that my every need is met."


"For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations." Psalm 100:5

Relationships are more important than being right.

This is one of those things that I wrestle with God about every once in a while. I don’t mean for that to sound trite – He is a Holy God, and I believe we owe Him instant submission to His perfect will in every situation. I believe that…but I do not always give Him that (and I am so thankful for His unending grace for me).

So I absolutely admit that my “wrestling” is also disobedience (and while I’m at it, I might as well admit that it happens more than “every once in a while”). God gave me a brain that seeks security in logic, in the letter of the law, in what I see as just and right. And just like all good gifts from Father, Satan is quick to twist what is meant for God’s glory into a temptation to believe that I actually know better than my omniscient God. When the Spirit calls me to let go of being right in and instead walk in obedience to Him, I have this moment where I feel like a 3-year-old in my heart. But…God! What that person did was wrong! My thoughts are higher than your thoughts, and my ways are higher than your ways. But…God! I have forgiven them before, only to be betrayed again! Are you saying that I should just forgive and trust them again without any repercussions? Forgive others, so that your Father in Heaven may forgive you. Seventy times seven, J. But…God! What if it happens again? Place your hope in me. I am always faithful. I am always true. But…God! It did not honor you, and they should be punished for that. I am the only just King, Who sits on the Throne. I have chosen to forgive you over and over again, J. Who are you to decide who deserves the shed blood of my one and only Son?

And you get the picture. I am a finite human being with a very limited understanding of justice that is only further skewed by the ugly sin that entangles me. No way could I ever be more “right” than God. And he’s doing some pretty tough chiseling on my square brain when it comes to relationships: believing in others, trusting others, living in unity with those around me, even when it hurts a little. But that is the model that Jesus set for us here on earth: growing in favor with God and with man. Living peaceably with others. Forgiving sins that were in direct conflict with scriptural law. I feel like such a Pharisee when I realize how much of His life He devoted to relationships with others, and compare that to how much I live my life making sure that I’m abiding by the law.

“One who has been touched by grace will no longer look on those who stray as "those evil people" or "those poor people who need our help." Nor must we search for signs of "loveworthiness." Grace teaches us that God loves because of who God is, not because of who we are.” (What's So Amazing About Grace? by Philip Yancey)