First Day of (Pre)School

I just love my kid. She is growing into a little girl before my very eyes, which is definitely a little scary along with the thrill. But she has a really precious and tender little heart, and I've got an awesome task to steward that heart in a way that leads her to the feet of a Holy God. I actually don't feel the pressure to get it right all the time; in fact, the pressure I feel is almost the exact opposite - to be vulnerable enough before her to show her how to run to Jesus when she and I and everyone else in the whole world get it wrong...sometimes really, really wrong. To have the discipline and grace to step back and allow the Lord to use EVERYthing - accomplishments, tragedy, disappointments, joys, fun, heartache - for the purpose of drawing her closer to Him. If I am afraid of anything it would be my tendency to rush in and provide a band-aid in my own strength when there is a God patiently waiting to apply full and miraculous healing for her wounds in His own timing and purpose.

I definitely shed a few tears this morning as I went in to wake E for her first day of preschool. It seems totally unreal that only three short years ago, I was just starting to get used to the way she fit into my arms. And yet she is already old enough for preschool. Incredible. Surreal.

She's had an independent streak in her since Day One, and was never really a "cuddler." Today I found the blessing in that as she didn't even look back at me after I kissed her "bye." Not one tear. Not one extra hug. Just, "Bye, mom." I forced myself to walk away, knowing that if I didn't my instinct would soon take over to grab her up, take her home, deadbolt the doors and never let her grow up. I really and truly envisioned myself doing that a few times. But God - in His mercy - always brings me back to my calling to steward her life well and I let go again, submitting gladly to the fact that He has planned great and wonderful things for her life.

She had a great day, of course. When I showed up this afternoon, she actually didn't notice me at first so I had a few stolen moments to get the "scoop" from her teacher and watch from a distance as she played.

After we got in the car, I interrogated her a bit about her day:

"What did you do today?" We played.
"Who did you play with?" My friends. *HUGE smile*
"Who are your friends?" C.
"And J?" Yep.
"And S?" Yep.
"And W?" (Thinking for a second.) Maybe not.
"What did you have for lunch?" Peaches! And crackers. And caaaake. *grin*
"Did you have fun?" Yep.
"Wanna go back again tomorrow?" Yep. 

Aside from the fact that she came home saying "Yep" instead of "Yes, ma'am," I think we'll count the first day as a pretty big success. :)