Talking Sticks

Today as we pulled out of the parking lot of the church on our way home, I heard E in the backseat...'I love you so much, mommy.' This indescribable feeling swelled up in my heart - I mean, there is nothing in this whole world that compares to hearing your own child say those words - so I turned back to her and said, 'Baby, I love you so much too!' She quickly replied, 'NO! Not youuuu, mommy - this mommy.' And she pointed to the two sticks she had managed to pick up and sneak into the car - one of those clearly being the 'mommy' stick and the other being the child, I guess.

I mean, sure.......I would've loved to have been the intended recipient of that outward expression of her affection, but it was enough to know that even in the imaginary world that she's beginning to create, genuine love is expressed in families. And even if I don't get a direct 'I love you' every day, it's still sweetly affirming that if even sticks love their mommies...maybe little girls do too. ;)

Well, we almost made it.

I've got some really amazing friends and have had a lot of support over the past few days via Facebook, one of the social media connections of these days. Since we had been having such a successful day at home with potty training (and even a successful grocery store trip!), I wanted to let these awesome friends know. So I did the one thing I shouldn't have...I posted this as my status:

"I think we've mastered 'pottying at home,' folks."

Anyone with a sense of humor knows exactly what happened next. Yeah.

So, with a newfound humble spirit, and a renewed realization that on this Earth, our goal is not perfection, but oneness with the One Who is perfect (thanks, R) - we started over. 

The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. -John 17:22-23

Evidence of Success

Because I will not remember anything about these days when E is grown and potty training her own stubborn little girl ;), I thought I might need to post some proof that today was, actually, a very good day for E. But since this is a public forum, and not simply a place for private musings, I thought I should preface this post with a very important statement.

Yes - this is as creative as it gets in my household.


I can crochet according to a pattern, I can color between the lines - I can build just about anything as long as I have directions.....but nothing in my brain tells me how to create something 'cutesy' out of nothing. So to all my kindergarten teacher friends and other friends who are able to make something beautiful out of nothing, don't hate on my attempt at bringing my two-year-old some joy, k? :)

Day 1 - Pretty good success, LOTS of prompting and prodding
Day 2 - The dip in performance is evident, I believe
Day 3 - Beginning to show signs of independence!!

Jehovah-jireh

Jehovah-jireh: The Lord Who provides; the Lord Who sees; the Lord Who will see to it that my every need is met; the One Who knows my need because He sees; the One Who is able to meet my need in just the right time as He did for Abraham; the One Who can meet it fully.


A few weeks back, our little family was over at our friends' house having dinner and spending some quality time together. E absolutely adores their kids, and follows them around like a little puppy...laughing at their silliness, playing with their toys, trying to do everything they do. They encourage us and offer wisdom to us as parents, and are living life fully to the glory of the Savior, so we gravitate toward spending our free evenings with them when we can. 


After finishing up dinner, C and I decided to make an ice cream run - one of our little "summertime" things. On the way out the door, I reminded E to finish her dinner so that she might be able to have some ice cream when we got back, and she trotted off to the kitchen.


Well, apparently at some point during our outing, E slipped out the back door of the house, wandered into the street where she was spotted and chased down by one of the neighbors, who - once he caught up to her - knocked on the front door and returned her safely to her daddy's arms. Though the whole episode could not have lasted more than five minutes, my heart aches to imagine the potential for danger in those brief moments.


Of course, all had been settled by the time C and I returned, but even the fact that I was absent for the entire situation brought an added measure of fear for having absolutely no control whatsoever of what had just happened. To say that L and I were shaken doesn't even begin to describe our emotions. We rode a pretty serious roller coaster for the next 24 hours, both trying to search out God's purpose for not only exposing E to such danger but also protecting her so miraculously - all within an extremely short amount of time. 


Though I believe I still have lessons to learn from this, here are a few things God has revealed to me so far: When I focus on my inadequacies as a parent that may have surely led to this event, I feel nothing but shame and helplessness. But when I focus on the amazing protection and providence of an Almighty Jehovah-jireh, I cannot deny His faithfulness, His enduring love, His amazing grace. I cannot help but praise a God who would see fit to meet me in my weakness and prove His strength. I cannot help but to humbly say Thank You for an act of mercy that was totally undeserved. And I cannot help but be reminded that above all of my plans, He is the One Who is in control. Focusing on myself leads to death and emotional devastation, but focusing on Him leads to life and hope in the One Who promises to "see to it that my every need is met."


"For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations." Psalm 100:5

Some Things Are Just Meant To Be...

My Little Black-Eyed Pea

Sooooo...if you live in our town and were walking or eating downtown tonight, you might've noticed a sweet little kiddo bouncing down the sidewalk with a ponytail and a cookie and a huge smile across her sweet little mouth.............right under the HUGE BLACK EYE that she got playing in my office last night.

This is not a wimpy little black eye, folks. It's the real deal. The funny part is, every time we passed someone, there was a noticeable trend: "Smile at the cute kid....wait for it....wait for it.....gawk at the black eye....then turn to check out the daddy to see if he looked like a potential offender." Hilarious. Funnier is that she was really proud of it and would point it out and talk about it even to a complete stranger, leaving them in a true conundrum of what might really be going on in our household.

I'm not thrilled that our Easter pictures consist of a major shiner, but then again - it could have been much worse, so I'm thankful that a shiner is all we got. After you get over the initial shock, it's even a little bit sweet, don't you think?

Chocolate

This is a 3-minute video that you are welcome to skip over. I promise it won't hurt my feelings. I certainly could have edited to make it much more concise, but then you would never understand how "unscripted" this event really was. You might even wonder if it really even happened the way it did.

But there are some moments in life that really are priceless. Some of them we are lucky enough to capture on film so that we can keep forever (as, ahem, blackmail).

Tonight I was lucky, and I really needed to prove to anyone who watches that this is just - plain and simple - real life with my little kiddo. :)

The Gift of Giving

Each year, my parents are way generous givers at Christmas. Each year, we always talk about it and about how we should instead organize a family project and do something "really meaningful" with our money instead of just using it to give things to each other. Implying, of course, (though definitely unintentionally), that giving gifts to each other isn't as meaningful.

And sometimes it's true. If we're honest, many times gifts aren't all that meaningful. Sometimes they're given out of obligation. Sometimes items get regifted in an effort to save money. Sometimes, the gift becomes the idol, and the sacrificial, selfless meaning behind a gift is entirely lost. Been there, done that for sure!

For some reason, though, each year our whole family is back around that Christmas tree giving gifts to one another. I think I know why...and it has something to do with the fact that my parents truly take pleasure in finding those gifts for their children that reach out and connect with us, that show their children that they truly take delight in us, that speaks that they know us both on a deep, heart level and also on a lighter, what-kind-of-things-make-you-smile level.

One of the things my parents seem to delight in giving to us are those rather "necessary" things (necessary being a relative term, of course) in life that just are sometimes a bummer to spend hard-earned dollars on. Like...

When I was in high school? Cool clothes.

In college? Expensive shampoo and conditioner.

As a wife? Starbucks!

And as a mom? Diapers. Always diapers.

This past year, my parents gave me a gift that would otherwise be beyond my budget but has since motivated me to do something I haven't been able to do as a mom: running. Now, ask me in high school if I would ever jump up and down over a jogging stroller and I would've given you the perfected, classic eye roll. Today.....well, that thing is priceless to me.

Thanks, mom and dad, for understanding and living out for me the picture God gives us in Luke 11:13 of how a (don't take the evil to mean more than what the scripture implies) parent willingly gives good gifts to their children. Maybe we'll make it around to a family project one day...but because that's what God lays on your heart, NOT because it holds more meaning!

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” -Luke 11:13 NIV

My Baby Is Going to School!!!

E-isms

We've had some fun around our house lately. As a stranger pointed out to me this evening, "How old is she? Only two? She is very verbal!"

And boy was that "stranger" right. Although I still don't understand everything she says, it's becoming quite clearer. And hilarious.

Some E-isms as of late:

-The past few mornings, after getting into the car:
Mommy: Alright, time to go to ______'s house.
E: No....let's go to M's house today. (M is my best friend from high school who has every toy God ever created in her home. We visited her on Saturday and E still remembers how much fun her house was!)

-I caved and bought some sugary cereal this past weekend. Lucky Charms, to be exact. Her favorite thing to do has been - of course - to eat ALL the marshmallows out of the bowl then turn sweetly to me and ask, "More 'Monkey Arms', Mommy?"

-Her favorite phrase right now? "Mommy, I neeeeeeeed ____________ (fill in the blank with anything you can imagine...). And if I say "No" E turns to her daddy, "Daddy, I neeeeeeeeed ____________." How do they learn this stuff???

And the best one to date (and possibly a premonition of things to come?)...

-Tonight, after falling and stubbing her toe, and crying for some time:
"*Sniff* *Sniff* I........need..........some...........chocolate!!!"

Update:

Almost forgot this one!

Every morning after dropping E off at the sitter's house:
Mommy: *kiss* "See you later! I love you!"
E: "Love me too, mommy!"

SNOW!!!

Seriously, this has been the snowiest winter since E was born, and definitely the first winter she's been able to enjoy it a little! Her favorite thing to do is EAT it. Her next favorite thing to do is.......EAT it. While her daddy and I had snowball fights, built snowmen, and made snow cream, she was happily content to just simply walk around and try to find the places where it would scrape off clean in her hand. Though I've been feeling pretty bummed about a recurring cold for most of the day, I have to admit - these sweet moments really brightened my day. :)

(Before you go on judging this mama, I just wish you could've heard the giggles that accompanied these slobbery canine kisses!

Trust me...worth it!!)

They are so cute it just kills me.

The Heart Issue

E is SOOOO "2." Bossiness, saying "No" all the time to everything, wanting to do it all herself, craving control and independence and an opportunity to claim her stake in this world.

As she becomes more and more self-aware and able to reflect a little bit on the reasons for her behavior, discipline is definitely changing in our home.

I'm really appreciating what Dr. Tedd Tripp offers young parents who are struggling with how to raise a child biblically in his book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, and in the corresponding Parent's Handbook. He pours Scripture into the pages, and helps me remember that this parenting job isn't just about controlling a wild-eyed, havoc-wreaking little monster. Instead, he brings me back to focusing on helping her work through her sin-ravaged little heart to be able to come to a place where God can speak grace and light into her spirit and soul, and she will recognize Him as the willing, powerful, Savior of her sin. I get SO caught up in the very thing that Jesus talks about in Matthew 23:25-28 - and find myself being such a hypocrite sometimes as I tend to cherish the cleanliness of the outside of her cup without taking note of the the inside of her heart.

This is definitely a tough one for me, and something I have to take to Jesus every day.

Bathtime Sonatas

This post is dedicated to Nana. She is hard at work this week with her job, and feeling a little under the weather today. E misses her, and decided to sing her a few songs tonight during bathtime.

We love you, Nana! Enjoy!

When I Think I Get It...But I Really Don't

E has been wonderfully independent lately. Learning LOTS. ABOUT. BOUNDARIES.

Namely: What does it really mean when mommy says it's time to go to bed?

Part of the problem I know is me. She doesn't just come out of her room, she sleeks around the corner, left eyeball first, with a Grinch grin that causes me to erupt in giggles every time. After she and I have a moment of fun, daddy swoops in to return her to the bed. I know. This isn't teaching her to stay in bed. I know. Like I said, part of the problem is ME.

Last night, though, she was in rare form. Usually, after the first - maybe second time - of getting up, she retires. Not last night. After she'd gotten up to bring me shoes, to bring me an umbrella (?!?), to ask for water, she was up yet again. Each time, per my instructions, she returned to her room. On the third time, I gave her a final instruction, "E, if mommy has to get up to help you back in bed, I am going to spank you."

So...on the fourth time...I had to follow through. I followed her back to bed. I stopped her before she climbed into bed and got down on her level. "E, do you remember that mommy said if I had to help you back in bed, I would spank you?" And with the most spirited little voice, E replied, "M-hm!" After one small spank and a few tears while we hugged, E pushed back from me and said, "All better," then climbed into bed and kissed me goodnight. And stayed there.

I was proud of myself. I thought, "Wow! She really got it!" Then we came home tonight and she got up FIVE times before we repeated the procedure (though she wasn't as enthusiastic about remembering my instruction this time). Afterwards, I closed the door to her room so that in case she wasn't quite done leaving the bed...at least she would stay in her room. And not even five minutes later, she was banging on the door.

As I thought back over all of this, I am reminded so much of my own personality. I have a really hard time when God tells me, "No" or when he doesn't allow me to go somewhere or do something that I want to do. Sometimes I think I "get it" when it comes to what God would have for me, but in reality I am way off the mark. Sometimes when I am begging God for answers, it may seem as though he is ignoring me when in fact he is standing right on the other side of the door knowing that the best place for me to be is "in my room" for that moment.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

-Matthew 7:11

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

-1 Peter 5:6

Warm Welcome

Tonight I drove to my parents house to see E for the first time in FIVE days. I was prepared for the worst - i.e., hiding from me, crying because my coming meant Nana and PopPop leaving, etc., etc. That day is coming, so I just wanna be sure I'm as prepared as possible for it.

However, today was not that day. Tonight as I walked in the door and turned the corner, E broke into a huge grin, opened up her arms, and started yelling..."In.....DI....AAAANNNNNNAAAA!! INDIANA!! INDIANA!!! IIINNNNDDIIIIAAAAAANNNNAAAA!!!" Jumping up and down, bouncing all over the room, she was so excited about seeing her long lost friend that she forgot to notice her mama standing right there. It was a whole 90 seconds before I even got a glance. Had to beg for a half-hearted hug and kiss.

And I have to admit...as much I as would have loved a trumpet fanfare at my arrival, I so enjoyed watching her take delight in the 100-lb puppy that smacks her around all day every day. He's caused quite a tear or two in our house, as he sometimes forgets how to manage his bulk around her, but he's made a forever-impact on our hearts. Not ten minutes later, she was perched on top of him eating a cracker and watching Barney as he lay soldier-still on the floor. Why can't dogs have the lifetime of a human??

SOOO Much Two-ness

E has been absolutely cracking me up lately with the things she is coming up with. Her little personality has always been so genuinely compliant and submissive, it's just shocking to see her beginning to test drive her own little will. Mind you, I love it - it's just that I'm having to rethink my game here. I used to be always one step ahead, but she's definitely stumped me a few times this week.

-Our one famous day of potty training was, well, a disaster. By the end of the day, we were both stressed and moody, and unable to cope with any additional demands that were made of us the rest of the day. We're taking a mini-hiatus while I regroup and consider what plan might work best for BOTH of us.

-Starting just recently, when I ask her a simple question with a relatively easy (yes or no) answer, instead of answering, she is glaring at me from the side and then rolling her eyes, as if to say, "Duh, mom. What d'ya think my answer would be to that question?" When I told my husband about it (and my dad, for that matter), they both answered, "Guess she's like her mama, isn't she?" *ouch*

-The other night, while over at a friend's house eating dinner, I was helping E get some food on her fork. Apparently this wasn't what she wanted, because she reached out and popped my arm with her hand, pointed her finger at me, and said, "No." I would've given everything in the world to have a picture of the way her daddy's face contorted at that moment. Priceless. Pretty sure she won't be trying that one again.

-Today on the way to church, I overheard her talking in the back seat: "Love you SOOO much, PopPop. Love you SOOOO much Nana. Love you SOOO much, Doggie...." Thinking I'd play with her, I started to offer so names. "SOOO much, Mama?" I tried. "NO! Love you SOOO much PopPop," she answered. Then, of course it became a game. Everyone but mama was loved SOOO much today. :)

In One Morning...

In one morning, E has successfully pottied on the rug, on a friend, on the couch, on the rocking chair, on our toys, on her little stuffed "doggie," on the real dog, in the high chair, on mommy...

...and in the potty chair 6 times!!

(It's sounds a little like a Dr. Seuss book, doesn't it?)

Let the Games Begin

Tonight we did a little "test run" for the potty training that will begin at dawn tomorrow. In 30 minutes, we had three melt-downs and changed clothes four times. We finally ended with a warm bath, a little bit of a movie, a few books, and then bedtime.

So......I'm adding a new prayer to the list for L's trip to Egypt: that I will be able to keep my sanity during the throes of potty training.

Pretty, Pretty Princess...or Not?

Today on the way to the sitter's house, E asked to hold my keys. Because we were in an enclosed space in which I could pretty well trust she wouldn't be able to lose them (a whole different story), I obliged. Only a few seconds later, she handed them back to me, apparently finished.

I drove on, already at work in my mind, thinking of emails and conversations and deadlines, when I heard E from the back seat:

"Pretty. Pretty, mama. Pretty."

I turned the rear-view mirror so I could take a glance, and found that she had snagged my flash drive from its soft case attached to my keys in the few seconds she'd had them before. I looked back just in time to see her pull off the top, lift it to her mouth, and begin pretending she was putting on lipstick. Oh dear.

Fast forward to this afternoon when I stopped by my husband's frisbee team practice. E came running to me, huge grin on her face, laughing hysterically. I didn't really know what was so funny until I took a closer look. Mud...smeared all over her face, all down the front of her pants. Now, down the front of the pants is understandable for a toddler who is still rather clumsy. But her face? Right about that time, my husband walked over to me and caught me studying the red clay caked on her nose. "Yeah," he said, "That's because she was eating dirt again." Eating dirt? Again?!?

Oh well. At least we know she's well-balanced.

We Are The Champions