An Answered Prayer

This post is dedicated to my friend, M, for being there for me in a BIG way today.

Tonight on the way home, I stopped by the grocery store to grab a few staples - milk, yogurt, etc. While there, my husband texted: he was in the mood for some ice cream. So when I'd gone through my list, I finished off my shopping in the frozen foods aisle.

As I made my decisions, a man walked up beside me and grabbed some ice cream as well, making an off-hand comment about whether or not I like Haagen Dazs. I smiled politely and replied that it didn't really matter to me - I was just looking for certain flavors. He kept talking and I kept looking for my ice cream, being polite but not overly friendly, but getting a little more uncomfortable with the fact that he kept talking to me. As I was walking away, he said, "I'm going to do something for you - I'm going to buy you this Haagen Dazs ice cream."

"No, that's alright," I replied.

But he insisted. "I'll just have to find you after I check out, and give this to you," he continued.

"I'm checking out now," I told him. I really just wanted to get out of there as soon as I could without him following me.

"Well, I am too," he said. As he followed me from the ice cream aisle to the check-out line, he started to ask more personal questions like where I was from and where I'd gone to school. And somewhere in those few steps, I began to PANIC. I needed a rescue. I needed to get to my car without him seeing where I was parked. I needed to know he wasn't scoping me out like a predator seeks out unsuspecting women. I needed God to miraculously intervene on my behalf. I prayed for all these things as I scanned my yogurt and my milk and my ice cream.

As I finished paying, mind racing with what to do next, afraid to lift my eyes, I heard a voice, "Hey, J!" And I looked up and met eyes with one of my husband's good buddies. Honest to goodness, I felt like kissing him...but I didn't. ;) When his wife (and my friend), M, walked up behind him, though, I hugged her tightly while quickly explaining the sketchy situation and begging her to walk me to her car in case the man followed me to the parking lot. She got her keys from her husband, and we walked toward the door together. We passed the man, who extended the ice cream to me, but clearly picked up the signals that I was finished with our conversation. As we walked to the car, I recounted all that had happened while she watched for signs of the man following us. When she determined that he was nowhere to be seen, we redirected to my car to load the groceries.

I know some people would've been more verbally combative with him - I'm not great with words under pressure, so I did what I always do: shut down and walk away. Some people I know would have noticed those red flags a LOT sooner than I did - it's true that I was definitely naive to the potential peril. However it happened, though - I do know one thing for sure: my God was my Deliverer tonight. He answered my prayer - overtly and immediately. He protected me from what was certainly a sketchy, if not dangerous, situation. And He loves me. He really, really loves me.

Our God is a God of salvation, and to GOD, the Lord, belong deliverances from death. -Psalm 68:20

My Little Black-Eyed Pea

Sooooo...if you live in our town and were walking or eating downtown tonight, you might've noticed a sweet little kiddo bouncing down the sidewalk with a ponytail and a cookie and a huge smile across her sweet little mouth.............right under the HUGE BLACK EYE that she got playing in my office last night.

This is not a wimpy little black eye, folks. It's the real deal. The funny part is, every time we passed someone, there was a noticeable trend: "Smile at the cute kid....wait for it....wait for it.....gawk at the black eye....then turn to check out the daddy to see if he looked like a potential offender." Hilarious. Funnier is that she was really proud of it and would point it out and talk about it even to a complete stranger, leaving them in a true conundrum of what might really be going on in our household.

I'm not thrilled that our Easter pictures consist of a major shiner, but then again - it could have been much worse, so I'm thankful that a shiner is all we got. After you get over the initial shock, it's even a little bit sweet, don't you think?

The Gift of Giving

Each year, my parents are way generous givers at Christmas. Each year, we always talk about it and about how we should instead organize a family project and do something "really meaningful" with our money instead of just using it to give things to each other. Implying, of course, (though definitely unintentionally), that giving gifts to each other isn't as meaningful.

And sometimes it's true. If we're honest, many times gifts aren't all that meaningful. Sometimes they're given out of obligation. Sometimes items get regifted in an effort to save money. Sometimes, the gift becomes the idol, and the sacrificial, selfless meaning behind a gift is entirely lost. Been there, done that for sure!

For some reason, though, each year our whole family is back around that Christmas tree giving gifts to one another. I think I know why...and it has something to do with the fact that my parents truly take pleasure in finding those gifts for their children that reach out and connect with us, that show their children that they truly take delight in us, that speaks that they know us both on a deep, heart level and also on a lighter, what-kind-of-things-make-you-smile level.

One of the things my parents seem to delight in giving to us are those rather "necessary" things (necessary being a relative term, of course) in life that just are sometimes a bummer to spend hard-earned dollars on. Like...

When I was in high school? Cool clothes.

In college? Expensive shampoo and conditioner.

As a wife? Starbucks!

And as a mom? Diapers. Always diapers.

This past year, my parents gave me a gift that would otherwise be beyond my budget but has since motivated me to do something I haven't been able to do as a mom: running. Now, ask me in high school if I would ever jump up and down over a jogging stroller and I would've given you the perfected, classic eye roll. Today.....well, that thing is priceless to me.

Thanks, mom and dad, for understanding and living out for me the picture God gives us in Luke 11:13 of how a (don't take the evil to mean more than what the scripture implies) parent willingly gives good gifts to their children. Maybe we'll make it around to a family project one day...but because that's what God lays on your heart, NOT because it holds more meaning!

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” -Luke 11:13 NIV

NYC!

As a delayed 5-year anniversary gift to each other, we flew up to NYC on Saturday for some sight-seeing, a Broadway show, and a one-night stay at the Waldorf Astoria. It was one of those trips - seriously - where everything just seemed to go right...though we weren't able to do EVERYTHING on our list, we had a magical time together and were able to see and do so much with the 24 hours we had.

NY has a pace that exhausted me after a short 24 hours. In the South, I would never hesitate to stop a stranger to ask for a picture. In NYC, the only people who are standing still are the people you would never trust to hold even a dollar for a minute. Sooooooooo...we have lots of crazy pictures where we zoomed the camera out as far as it would go, I stood on my tip-toes, and L held it back as far as his long arms would reach in order to get our faces in front of whatever scenery we were trying to capture. What we ended up with was actually quite a memorable array of some of our best moments from that day and a half - looking back, they really do capture our time there.

To be honest, this was actually the first trip that I've taken post-baby that I was able to let go of being "mom" for a day and step into the shoes of just giving myself over to being with my man. And to be even more honest, I wasn't specifically praying for that to happen - it just did. One of those things that God gives you that you don't even know that you need. For that reason, though, I think NYC will hold some pretty special memories for the two of us - a place that belongs to just L and I and isn't shared with the feelings and responsibilities of parenting. Don't read what I'm not saying! I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom. But there's a tendency for me to get sucked into it, to invest the best of my care first and foremost to the 2-year-old with the most immediate and tangible needs. I felt a little like a "newlywed" for a day in NYC - as if I had the freedom to offer L my best without having to worry about whether or not E's needs were being met (side note: Thank you Nana and PopPop!!).

This is still a thought-in-progress. I am looking forward to being back home with our family back together. But I am wondering about the glimpse God has given to us this weekend of the importance of a little "getaway." A time for me to focus my eyes 100% on the man God has blessed me with and to be able to offer him all the love I have in my heart for him without any hindrances. A time for romance to blossom a little more. A time to remember walking down the aisle toward the man of my dreams. A time to be thankful that I have a mate with a common vision and purpose in life. A really really GOOD time!!

Waldorf Astoria

First trip on the subway

Staton Island Ferry

Lady Liberty is back there somewhere!

Lombardi's Pizza

The Lion King on Broadway!

Times Square

We were MASTERS of the subway

Central Park

On our way home...

Together Again

After nine L-O-N-G days with little-to-no communication with my husband due to the inaccessibility of internet and very little down time, I now have a very direct, face-to-face line of communication with him again!!

E and I have been talking all day about her daddy being in an airplane, but if you asked here where her daddy was, "Work," was the only answer you'd get. (That's the place she always says he is if he isn't home.) The moment she spotted him at the airport, she let out a huge squeal, "DAAAADDYYY!" and ran to give him a big hug. And silly me left my camera in the car!

She almost couldn't keep herself from talking the whole way home. Several times I had to ask her to be quiet for a minute so mommy and daddy could talk (up until that point, she kept getting louder and louder in order to be able to be heard over our conversation).

God was so good to us while we were apart - he sustained us and kept me unusually busy enough that it was difficult to find time to think about how much I missed him. And because of the timing of it all, we are going to be able to spend the majority of this Thanksgiving week foregoing work and reconnecting as a family again.

Thank you, Lord, for bringing my husband and E's daddy back home to us safely and for providing for our every need and many of our wants during the time he was away!! Thank you for amazing family and friends who loved on us and supported us through this past week (ou know who you are!!), and for providing us with a Thanksgiving break that will allow us to recoup and reconnect. And most of all - thank you for doing all these things for us in order to draw us nearer to you and teach us to trust you in good times and in bad times. To say you are good doesn't even scratch the surface, but it's simple enough for my human mind to comprehend, with the hope that you know my heart's prayer of gratitude for the way you measure out extravagant blessings on our family.

Lay ME Down

L has been in Egypt now for six days. He has tried and tried in vain to establish an internet connection so that we could converse via Skype. Though I can receive his texts, he can't receive mine, so we've had kind of a one-sided conversation since he left. Every little bit helps though.

Thinking about the physical distance that has separated us for this short time, I am reminded of some of my favorite Sandra McCracken lyrics, from a song she penned after long stretches of being apart from her husband; words that resonate with how I feel often times when L and I are apart:

All the miles between us
they say that’s just the way it goes
time is no friend to lovers
stretched like the line that hangs the clothes
but we walk the distance another day
the rope is thin but does not give way

And I can hear the band of angels singing now
like a story from the page is read aloud
but this is not make believe...

I’d rather have the mystery and the madness and the rains
cause hell’s the only place you can be free of all love’s pain

I have no claim on the future
so here I lay me down
and God is a friend to lovers
he makes the bone, the flesh, the ground
and he walks with us, make no mistake
and holds us when our hearts, they break

So, here I lay ME down. ME and all my wishes for that warm spot to return to my bed (the one that doesn't shed, anyway). ME and all my desires to share my day-to-day experiences with my soulmate. ME and all my desires to have a co-laborer to cook dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, and rake leaves. ME and all my desires to be wrapped up into the arms of the one I love at this very moment. Here I lay ME down, knowing that God is walking with me, purposing these moments, and providing for my every need.

Mixing Rocks Into Soil

It's my birthday. E sang the birthday song to me no less than nine times, a frequent reminder of the blessing of sharing this special day with my family. My husband made breakfast, we all went on a hike (it was an unbelievably gorgeous day), we had lunch downtown, my parents took me out to dinner, I ate cake TWICE, received tons of birthday messages and some incredible news via Facebook, got several very sweet and thoughtful gifts from my friends and my hubby...all in all, a really great day.

Yet, all the above activities were accompanied by sadness - in a small way - as my husband packed, drove to the airport, and departed for a 10-day missions excursion to Cairo, Egypt. As I write, he is on a plane crossing the Atlantic.

I am praying and praying that I will not miss out on the purposes God has for me during this time of physical separation from my husband. I know He is doing a work in my heart, and that this small part of the journey is important for Him to grow in me a deeper desire for and joy in Him alone, an opportunity for me to send my roots down deeper into the fertile soil of Life in Him.

As I pondered these things tonight, I was reminded of an illustration that the Bible alludes to several times in regards to the grapevine. If you ever spend some time with a good vintner, you will notice that, in some cases, he or she will plant rocks among the soil where a grapevine grows, in order to force the vine to run its roots deep into the ground, where it will be able to find the most nutrients and a more stable supply of water. Likewise, God plants "rocks" into the soil of our lives to stretch us, to grow us, to cause us to run our roots deeper and deeper into the wealth of His Being, where we will find the Living Water - the only Water that can truly heal and sustain our lives. What a loving God - who knows exactly how to tend to our souls and cultivate the fruit of the Spirit in our hearts, even when it is tough and sometimes hurtful in the process.

This is the kind of God that I want to get to know more during these next ten days. The kind of God who knows me so intimately that I can be sure He has purposed these days long before I was even born. The kind of God who is - I am certain - on the edge of His seat as He looks in anticipation at the new things I will discover about Him as I learn how to lean on His grace and His mercy over the next week. The only God who could, would, and will ever look at me and see nothing but righteousness and the glory of His Son over me, and because of that, love me fiercely and fight for me tirelessly.

---------------------------------

Some sweet memories from today:

My AWESOME birthday present from my rockin' husband

Playing with Indiana at the Reservoir

SHAKE!!!

L leaving for Cairo

Part of L's Cairo Team (minus E) :)

Blessing Near Brasstown Bald

My parents finally did something this summer they've been wanting to do since they first met each other almost 30 years ago: they bought a house in the mountains on a lake. God's blessing over their lives, mixed with a downturn in the economy, gave them an opportunity for an incredibly sweet purchase in the North Georgia mountains, and we made our inaugural trip this weekend.

I am so blessed to have the parents I have. Not only have they passed down a spiritual legacy to the next generation, they are now also adding to that a physical legacy of a "resting place" - a place where friends and family can meet for many years to come.

Though it was a short visit, the weather was beautiful today, so we journeyed over to Brasstown Bald - just a short car ride away - to take in the view. It was well worth it! Because it was such a clear, beautiful day, you could see the skyscrapers in Atlanta off the south side of the tower. If you look closely in the last picture below, you can see the shadows of the big city in the background - towering over the mountains in front of it. The best part is that everything that man created in that city doesn't even compare to the beauty of God's natural creation in the rest of the picture!!

A Seaman's Story

We spent some time on Monday morning with my husband's dad's dad (E's great-grandaddy Bost) and his wife, Jenny. When we went out for lunch, we somehow got on the topic of his history with the U.S. Navy during World War II, and I sat with a mouth open-wide as he told a story of how he - as an 18-year-old - not only survived a torpedo attack on the USS Donnell, a destroyer en route to Europe, but then also went on to join the forces in the attack on the beaches of Normandy.

At the time of the torpedo attack, he should have been asleep in his assigned bunk. Instead, he had traded bunks with another soldier that was on duty. If he had been in his assigned bunk, his life would have been taken along with the lives of the 29 other men that day. Instead, God had other plans.

He went back home after the war, back to his mom's house (who had signed a waiver for him to be able to join the Navy at the age of 17 at the time of the draft), back to his preacher to find out just why God had spared him his life that day. "I don't know why he chose to allow me to live that day," he said very candidly as we sat around the table.

Ohhhh...but I do Grandaddy Bost. I'm sure there's a million, but I've got living proof of one perfect little reason why God spared your life that day.

Fall Festival at the Farm

Trying to stand up on the Giant Pillow

Sliding with Daddy

Riding on the "Cow Train"

Playing in the "Corn House"

(A playhouse filled with dried corn kernels)

Bouncing all the leftover corn out of my pants

Sitting on a hay bale decorated as a pig

Petting the donkey

Feeding the goats

Riding the pony

Riding the train

Playing in the pumpkin patch

Sacked out!!!

I think we've got a Bost Family tradition on our hands, folks!

From the Mouth of Babes: The Five Pillars of Islam

We had dinner with some of our very best friends tonight, who have three boys, the eldest of which is 9 years old. He's a kid that is so wise beyond his years, and has a humongous heart for the Lord. All of the boys do.

Tonight we were sitting around the table and H (the nine-year-old), was giving us a lesson in Islam, sharing with us some of the things he's been learning about the five pillars of Islam in his class at school. As I tuned in to what he was saying, I learned this:

1. Muhammad is the messenger of God

2. Muslims must fast during the month of "Ramada"

3. They have to give "Iams" to the poor

4. They pray to god ("little g") five times a day

Honestly, I got so tickled I didn't even hear what he said the fifth one was. I was also praising the Lord for the obvious Godward-ness of this little one's heart.

E had some really sweet times with the boys too. She absolutely adores their youngest son to pieces; they've even come up with their own little nickname for each other. My heart melted tonight when I turned away from cooking to spy one of the boys stroking E's hair and reading a book to her on the floor. I'm looking forward to E having three "big brothers" to be there for her through this life, and I love that E has such incredible examples of the heart of a Christian boy.

Aesop

An old Aesop's fable that has been cropping up lately for me is the one about the Wind and the Sun. It reads:

The Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger. Suddenly they saw a traveller coming down the road, and the Sun said: "I see a way to decide our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that traveller to take off his cloak shall be regarded as the stronger. You begin." So the Sun retired behind a cloud, and the Wind began to blow as hard as it could upon the traveller. But the harder he blew the more closely did the traveller wrap his cloak round him, till at last the Wind had to give up in despair. Then the Sun came out and shone in all his glory upon the traveller, who soon found it too hot to walk with his cloak on.

I was telling my husband tonight of an epiphany I was having, confident that it was going to be a grand realization for him as well, proud of what a word from God I had just heard. Haha.

He was really sweet - let me go on and on about all the great things I was thinking. After I was finished, he gently said, "Yeah, I've been thinking that same thing for a while now. Just waiting for you to realize it too."

My sweet husband. He is definitely my "sun." I can't ever remember a time when he has forced his will on me or required me to change in a way that would surely be better for everybody involved. Instead, he submits his desires straight to the Lord, and trusts Him to work His will in my life on His time. And does that joyfully. And loves me deeply. He's definitely a keeper. :)

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

It's amazing how quickly I can go from a loving, gracious mommy to a short-tempered, legalistic dictator. Ugh. It's kind of depressing, actually.

I got a phone call from a rather antagonistic person yesterday that, frankly, left me flustered and angry. Hours later, it was obviously still brewing in my soul, and I found myself being very ungracious with E, even causing her to cry at one point of particular impatience.

Fast forward to tonight when I peeked into her room, 45 minutes past her bedtime, because she was still awake and talking. When I creeped up close to her bedside to see what was going on, she opened her eyes, looked at me sideways out of the corner of them, and started giggling. We laughed hysterically for the next five minutes.

Reflecting on my bipolar interactions with her over the past 24 hours reminds me of something Louie Giglio said last week, something that keeps coming back up for me. He gave the illustration of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and the fact that after the crowd yells, "Move That Bus!!," the first thing that camera focuses on is not the house - the thing that the whole show has been apparently building up to - but the family's faces. Even though you're not able to see the actual house at first, you get excited because you see the house on the faces of the family members who are beholding it. Their thrill at the joy of this new house increases your desire to view it, tour it, analyze it, feel it.

When I am bothered by and focused on a cruddy conversation with a mean person, I reflect that in my face to E. She responds with tears, and rightfully so - what I am reflecting to her is anxiety and anger. When I tiptoed into her room tonight and was surprised by the joy and innocence of the precious gift God has given to me, I reflected that in my face back to E, and we laughed until we cried. What a reminder to me of how much my face affects those around me.

Jesus, when You said that we are to be a light to those around us, I think I'm realizing that what you meant is that we are to reflect the Light from its original source: You. When I spend time in the world, I begin to reflect the things of this world to those around me, things that are broken and shallow and hurtful. Draw me into You and lift my head up to Your Face, that I may see Your goodness and dwell in Your House. Restore my soul that I may shine Your Light to those around me. May my face reflect Your Glory, Lord, that those who see my face may be drawn toward the One who has set my feet to dancing and set my heart on fire!

Catalyst 2009

L and I are in Atlanta for Catalyst 2009. My head and heart are swimming with the refreshing, reenergizing, motivating, humbling, incredible Truth being proclaimed about what God has to say in regards to being a part of His plan here on planet Earth.

Tonight was an awesome time of being reminded by Aaron Keys and Francis Chan Who Jesus is and what He has done for me. The takeaway from tonight has definitely been the reminder that the Enemy will do whatever he can to make Jesus unappealing to those who are looking in on my life wondering why I subscribe to the whole "Christianity" thing. Satan is in the business of filling my mind and my life with enough stress and anxiety and stuff to cover up the joy and grace I should be constantly feeling in the embrace of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 5:8). Instead, Jesus is calling me to come boldly, yet humbly, before His Throne, giving Him everything that loads me up and weighs me down, trusting Him - in the right time - to give me ALL grace, to restore me, to confirm me, to strengthen me, and to establish me (1 Peter 5:6-7,10-11).

What an incredible promise to rest in tonight!!

Edward Cullen, Michael O'Brien, and My Husband

On the (great) advice of a trusted friend, I delved into the Twilight novels a few weeks ago. I am not a fan of fantasy/Sci-Fi, and consider most memories of high school to be nightmarish at best, so it was quite a leap for me just to read the first sentence. But I have to admit, I enjoyed the storyline and came away with many great thoughts for discussion, and I have prompted quite a few others (including my husband) to begin reading them.

Last night, as I was reading through Stephenie Meyer's (Twilight author) website, I came across some pretty heavy critics of her work. There are those, apparently, who have found that the book has inspired in them a new standard for romance, love, and how a man should treat a woman; even to the point where wives have filed for divorce and women have left long-standing relationships in search of what they truly "deserve." And as I was reading it, my heart began to break.

Tonight, my husband and I (on our weekly date night!) enjoyed a concert by the talented pianist/singer Michael O'Brien. Afterward, my husband and I were sipping coffee, and he mentioned something about wondering if I ever wished he were more like Michael O'Brien, able to play and sing beautiful songs about love. I laughed out loud and told him that I wanted just him - just the way he was, especially when he does a good job loving me, and even when he does a bad job. And it got me thinking once again about the Twilight books and the worldly standard for love.

And you know what? I am so thankful for a husband who "gets it." Hear me out, ladies - I love my man...but he is not always perfect. However, no matter what, I know that he strives to love me like Christ loved the church, not like Edward loved Bella, not like the love songs Michael O'Brien sings to his wife, not like my dad loves my mom, not like his buddies love their wives. My man is focused on the one example that will never ever lead him astray. Because of that, I am secure. I can know that even when he doesn't quite make it to second base, I realize he was aiming for the spotlights all along. When he attempts to be Bob-the-Builder and instead has to run out last minute for a bottle of Draino, it was all done with an amazing heart of service. When he leaves me a sappy sweet note on the bathroom mirror with all sorts of typos and missing words, it was written with a heart of 100% gold. When it's all done with the goal of being like Christ, how could I ever want anything more?!?

Ephesians 5:25-28 (The Message)

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.

Sin is sin is sin is sin...

If you are anything like me, this is how the Celebrity/Media world has played out for you the past few days:

-I didn't watch the Music Awards the other night. I don't have cable. I don't know that I would've watched it if I did.

-Heard about the whole Kanye West thing through Facebook, my "reliable" source of media nowadays. Read everybody's comments about what a jerk he was. Thought, "That's probably true."

-Heard about it a little more on the radio. Decided I was glad I don't watch TV, and even more glad that I'm not the type of person to get caught up in caring enough about those kinds of things to write about it on my Facebook page.

-Read this. Embarrassingly convicted of my crazy, self-worshipping pride.

-Posted on my blog about Kanye West...which is infinitely worse than posting it on my Facebook page.

Ahh, the Romance

On Sunday night, my husband and I stole away once again for a date night, this time to do some elements at a ropes course...his ropes course, in fact. Many of our friends think that because my husband is a Ropes Course Instructor Extraordinaire, that I must have climbed every tree out there. Not true. Not even a little bit.

I screamed - an unstoppable and unexpected scream - when he cut us loose on the giant dual swing. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. The second element was a 40-ft telephone pole that you climbed and stood on the top of...blindfolded, with only the help of your partner's voice. It was an awesome step outside of the norm for me, and some sweet cleaving time with my man. He truly is the one for me.

Later that night, instead of the cuddling we might have otherwise been doing, I stayed awake until 4 am throwing up the popcorn, m&m's and diet coke that I'd snacked on at the course. And my knight in shining armor became the sleepy, half-dressed butler standing in the bathroom door with a cup of water in his hand. If only you could've seen the (exact same) looks on my husband's and my dog's face after I woke them up for the fourth time with my late-night activities. It certainly was a moment of humor in the midst of the torment.

We survived, nobody else caught it (miracle!!), and we live to tell another story of this life as we know it...

Moose Tracks

I was making a dessert today which involved Mayfield Moose Tracks ice cream, and had a momentary flashback to a time in my life where things weren't quite so "illuminated" in regards to my future. My then-boyfriend (now-husband) and I were in the aftermath of a really tough break-up, and I was having a tough time getting a handle on what exactly God was doing in my life.

It was late at night, and I was sleepless and in a somber mood, thinking about all that had transpired in the relationship and wondering what in the world was going to happen between us. I went hunting in the dorm for something sweet and stumbled upon a carton of Mayfield Moose Tracks ice cream in the kitchen.

It wasn't mine, but it was perfect. I took it back to the Commons area, sat in the middle of the couch, turned on a really sappy movie, ate all the peanut butter cups out of the ice cream and cried until I had no more tears left. Then I put the leftover ice cream (with no peanut butter cups left) back into the freezer. It was a totally heathen thing to do, and I never confessed to the true owner of the ice cream. In fact, it's been my secret until now...

I look back on it and wonder just exactly how amused God was at my ridiculously young and immature self. I hope he was laughing at me, sitting in my puddle of tears stuffing my face with Moose Tracks peanut butter cups, wondering if "life would ever be okay again." It's amazing how quickly we humans lose sight of the bigger picture, forgetting that every single piece of broken glass fits into the huge stained-glass window that he is making from our shattered hopes and dreams.

To this day, a carton of Moose Tracks makes me laugh, and reminds me how incredibly BIG our God is. To my friend to once owned a carton of Moose Tracks ice cream with no peanut butter cups...I am truly sorry!!

Confessions about Dollar Bills

Conviction about the way I spend money? Check.

Repentance about the way I spend money? Check.

Prayerful planning about a budget? Check.

Being accountable to a budget? Check.

Getting a little prideful and controlling about the budget? Check...

Conviction about the fact that this is all still God's money? Check...

Reminder that I am SO not in control? Check...

Repentance for my wayward and self-glorifying heart? Check.

Grace for my mistakes? Check.

The incredibly awesome love of a Father who covers a multitude of sins and blesses me beyond my wildest imagination? Absolutely!!!

Autumn Invitation

Dear Autumn,

Your arrival brings mixed feelings for me every year. You're a busy time of life for our little family - days mixed with lots of fun and lots of responsibility, then ending with very tired minds and bodies. The falling temperature is certainly welcomed, but the falling leaves signal the beginning of the death of some very beautiful things that are dear to me. However, you bring new colors of your own to replace the ones that are fading away, and offer many gifts for the harvest from things that have been tended to carefully throughout the hot summer months.

This is a time of thanksgiving, a time for pause to remember what God has blessed us with during the days past. We have certainly been given much! It's also a time to prepare for the coming winter days, to brace for the coldness and the fading daylight that sends us indoors and inspires mulled cider and heavy coats.

May we have the grace to accept the coming changes, and to be thankful for every day's measure of blessings. May we have strength to walk forward as we begin to watch once-beautiful things fade and fall to the ground. We know that every season has its purpose, and that God gives us only what is best, even when your changing winds begin to make things around us seem a little colder.

Thank you for the ways in which you teach us the about the character of God and His purpose for our lives. We are looking forward to your arrival!