Last week, on our first night at the beach, I had a run-in with a strung-out guy. At first I thought he was just a creep, because he just kept STARING at E. After at least 10 minutes of trying to ignore him, I stepped between him and her, took off my sunglasses so that I could look him straight in the eyes, and asked him if he needed anything, and told him if he didn't, then he needed to move on. I turned back around to E, we kept playing, and he kept staring. I took my sunglasses off again, and proceeded to stare back until he got the picture and moved on. Creep.
It took me over an hour to shake that "unsafe" feeling. I felt so helpless against his overpowering sin. And that the sin was committed against my own small child who couldn't defend herself was nearly unbearable.
I've thought over and over again how I could've reacted differently, and wondered if the actions that I did take brought glory to God. Though I certainly felt justified in protecting her, I don't really have an answer to that question yet. And I'm pretty sure the thoughts that were running through my head at the time were probably not thoughts that Jesus would ever entertain.
One thing I DO know is that God never promised this world to be a safe place. I do know that, as much as it hurts, I want E to know that so that she will understand the importance of being covered in prayer and in the armor of the Living God. HE is our safe place, HE is our protector and provider, and HE will get the final judgment over every soul. As much as I want to be able to protect her from the ugliness of this world, at some point she will taste its bitterness. And the best gift I can offer her in those moments is to show her that if we cling to God, he promises us peace for our burdens and joy for our sorrow...and forgiveness for all the things we really wanted to say to the offender.
Oh, you know I am feeling you on this one! It is such a helpless feeling an it reminds us how out of control we are...it shatters our illusions of safety. I am even more rattled to know this will happen again...
ReplyDeleteI absolutely, completely, 100 % agree with you about protecting your kids. As a mother, you have the responsibility to do so, and this dude DID need to move on.
ReplyDeleteI do have a question for you, though. How do you equate this man staring at your child as sin? (I am not trying to be argumentative.)
GREAT question. It's not an exact equation of staring = sin, for that could of course be totally a matter of opinion and perspective. The real, fear-inducing part of it all was how obviously inebriated he was, so much so that his actions were without remorse and completely unpredictable. It was a moment where I was literally afraid to take my eyes off of him or E, because I was totally unsure of his motives. Drunkenness is, according to several biblical passages (Ephesians 5:18) a clearly defined sin, but then the sin also escalates due to the fact that you have surrendered power over your thoughts and actions to a drug (Proverbs 26:9). I do not know, of course, his intentions by being so clearly disrespectful, but I do trust that the wave of darkness that threatened the safety of my child was real.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you asked the question!
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ReplyDeleteI love the bible verses! The Word of the Lord is so amazing at showing light in the dark or gray places in our lives. It truly allows us to stand on something far greater than ourselves.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog Jess!
ReplyDeleteThanks for clarifying. = ) I agree that drunkenness is wrong (according to the Word of God) and I think I missed that from the first post. I was confused about whether or not the guy was just staring (and making you uncomfortable) or actually DID something in a threatening manner.
ReplyDeleteI FIRMLY believe that as believers, the Spirit of God empowers us to have discernment in situations and that your Momma-radar was spot on.
There are many parents who would NOT have done a thing, thinking that they would not want to teach their child to be impolite to an adult. (Not that you were impolite). And there are many children who have ended up injured (mentally, emotionally, and otherwise) because they are not taught that there are unsafe adults out there.
Just ran across your blog today (linked from somewhere else!) and I think it's awesome. Did not mean to be anonymous--just too lazy to sign in. =)
Regina
Jessica....YOU ARE A GOOD MAMA! You did not dis-respect this man. This has happened to me on several occasions. And trust me, you KNOW....you just know. It is the worst, most sickening and yet angry feeling in the world. Sometimes....God just grips your heart and gives you discernment at these times. Don't doubt that God given discernment and judgement he gives you as a mother! I am sorry this happened, but I am thankful that you are in tune!
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