Dissatisfaction

After a pretty intense conversation with my husband this morning, I have been thinking a lot about the Godly purpose of dissatisfaction today. There are probably people who would argue that dissatisfaction is from the Enemy, but I disagree. I think sometimes God plants dissatisfaction within our hearts as a way to cause us to seek fulfillment. He knows, in the end, that true fulfillment comes only through him, and He wants to be found by us, but he also knows that we have the free will to choose. Because of this, and because of His incredible, unfathomable love for us, He allows dissatisfaction to lead us - if we choose - to the cross.

It all started with a piece of fruit in a garden at the beginning of Earthly time. Eve chose death, and God's curse for her choice was that her "desire would be for [her] husband." This "desire," or "dissatisfaction with her circumstances," can lead only one of two directions: into sin or into the merciful arms of Christ. Left with a choice, the Enemy's wages war against us with deception and manipulation. But the dissatisfaction was initiated by God.

I am well-acquainted with the feeling of dissatisfaction. It ranges in me from the way my body is shaped or the way my hair looks some days all the way to the kind of wife or mother or friend or sister I am. I am dissatisfied when I don't succeed at my endeavors, or when my husband forgets to take the trash out in the morning. Not all of these feelings are of God, and not all of them are fruitful. The Enemy would have me focus dissatisfaction, time, and energy on the fleeting treasures of this world. If he cannot succeed at that level, he would then take my dissatisfaction for Heavenly things (my relationships with others or with God), and have me take hold of those things, and work and strive and worry about whether or not these relationships are succeeding or failing.

Instead, when God plants the seed of dissatisfaction in my heart, maybe - just maybe - He intends for me to respond by pressing up even closer against him, listening carefully to what He has to say to me, trusting that He is doing a far greater work in me than I can ever imagine. Maybe this sense of dissatisfaction was a play on His part to draw me in closer to Him so that I can carefully walk the path He has laid out for me. Maybe - just maybe - when God cursed Adam and Eve on that day long ago, He gave them the one punishment that He knew would be perfect in positioning them to realize their need for Him and Him Alone.

Lead me to the cross, where your love poured out
Bring me to my knees, Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself, I belong to You
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross.
~Brooke Fraser